hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
