So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
