I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
