dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize