you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
