When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT