maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
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i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
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Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it