let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
