I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
