i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
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