would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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