PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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