can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
