Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
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Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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