Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
