Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
