Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
