I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Randomize
