So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
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I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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