they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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