Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
