I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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