I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
