Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
