"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
