Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
