During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize