i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The best revenge is premature balding
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.