the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.