So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
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I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms