i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
