When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped