i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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