i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
