Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
