what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
