I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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