I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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