I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
