is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize