There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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