I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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