Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
