It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
