just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
