Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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