Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
