what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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