So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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