the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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