No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
