Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
