singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
