would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
