Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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