Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
