just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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