she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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