I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
