didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
