guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
