So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
