puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
