Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
