What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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