rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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