she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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