but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
