what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
