I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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