Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
